A better Me
It seems like a lot of people are opposed to New Year’s Resolutions. I guess it’s because so few last the whole year. But so what? I figure even if I don’t follow through with anything for the whole year, at least I’ll have tried for a while. And a little progress is better than none. So here’s my list of resolutions:
1. I want to live healthier. I’m going to start buying more organic and less processed food. We already buy organic for Eliana, but eventually she’ll start eating our food. And I want that food to be good for her. Bonus if it’s good for me too. I want to exercise more. I have no ambition to lose “x” number of pounds or wear “x” size pants. I just want my family to live healthier.
2. I want to live greener. I’m going to buy less bottled water and use my refillable 5 gallon jugs. I’m thinking of buying reusable grocery bags instead of the plastic ones. Ok, sometimes. I still need the plastic ones to clean the litter box, but maybe not 5 million bags like I currently have. I’m going to start recycling. Just doing better for the planet in general and my daughter’s future.
3. I want to de-clutter and organize my house. I am so sick and tired of all the knick knacks everywhere. I just want everything to have a place and stay there. I know that’s not a reasonable expectation with baby crap around, but it’s a goal. And even if I don’t make it all the way all the time, a little is better than nothing.
4. I want to clean up my language. I do not want Eliana’s first word to be fuck shit damn ass bitch.
So that’s it. I don’t think I’m trying for anything unattainable. Just a few things to help me live my life better. And I won’t be heart broken if I accomplish nothing. But I kinda think I’ll do ok. I’m really excited to get started with all of it. In fact, we’ve already kinda sorta started a little bit.
I can’t wait to see what 2008 has in store for my family. If it’s half as good as 2007, it’ll be great. Happy New Year! Have a wonderful and safe 2008!
It’s a keeper
We got Eliana this rocking/riding toy for Christmas and just got around to putting it together today. She loves it. It has this removable steering wheel thing that does numbers and letter and sings (the singing is so annoying I want to put cotton in my ears and beat it with a hammer). We tried putting that on the floor in front of her, but it didn’t amuse her as much. Once I made the rocking thing come together and stuck the awful steering wheel on there, that was the end of it. Best toy ever. Apparently. This would normally be a happy yay kinda thing, but I have to sit right behind her. I’m afraid she’d fall off it, even though she hasn’t yet. Not my favorite feature. It’d be nice to, you know, walk away for 2 minutes*. But she looks so cute in it, it’s totally worth it.
*Tony has been working on his big paper ALL DAY LONG, so I have been in charge of baby entertainment ALL DAY LONG. Who knew playing with a baby and making faces could be so draining! Thankfully he should be done tonight which gives me tomorrow to relax and have happy family time before he has to start on another 20 page paper on Monday. Fun stuff.
2007 Revisited
January- We had only been back in Texas for a few weeks. Most of our time was spent trying to get the house together. Tony was starting to get settled in at work and I was busy making a human.
February- The biggest thing was finding out that the human I was making was a girl! I just “knew” it was a boy. So much for mother’s intuition.
March- Tony turned 28. I probably laughed at him and called him old. I’m awesome like that. Coty came to visit, so we did a few touristy type things. We finished the nursery. Things were getting done quickly.
April- We went for our first 3D ultrasound. Eliana was breech and facing my spine, so we did not get good pictures. I don’t remember what else happened. It must have been boring.
May- Tony and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. Eliana flipped from breech to head down. It was the weirdest feeling. We had another 3D ultrasound and got great pictures. I started blogging more regularly (on Myspace). Apparently I was tired a lot and the cats annoyed me all the time. I spent a lot of time complaining.
June- Lots of doctor’s appointments. We were doing weekly Biophysical Profiles, so I got a lot of ultrasound pictures. It was nice to see her develop. And everything was fine. I was really nervous about becoming a mother and having to be responsible for a whole other person. I was scared that everything good about my life would change and I’d screw up the mothering thing. I spent a lot of time (especially at the end of the month) begging the baby to get out. I was uncomfortable and wanted to be able to touch my toes again. I was so sure she would come early (in June) and she didn’t. Coty had Charlie. She got busy being a mom, so I spent the last part of being pregnant just waiting around.
July- More hormonal crazy. I made my sister cry. People were afraid to talk to me and I was self-pitying and miserable. Tony’s family got here and I was still pregnant. They left and I was still pregnant. I was convinced she would never come out. But she did. 3 days late after an induction and emergency C-section. She was worth it. I don’t remember much about those first couple of weeks with her. She was a baby. She slept a lot. Breastfeeding was going pretty well. I think I spent a lot of time just staring at her. That’s what all new parents do.
August- I turned 27. Tony went to Virgina for work and left me all alone with the baby for the first time. I was scared, but it went ok. She finally lost her cord and once Tony got home, we gave her a bath for the first time. Probably spent more time just staring at her. She got her very first bottle (to get her used to taking one) and we found the right formula that wouldn’t break the baby.
September- Eliana choked and scared the crap out of me. She was fine. I was not. Tony hit the garage door with the car. It still isn’t fixed. She rolled from tummy to back and laughed in the same day. That was a great day. My mother and sister came for a visit. We did a few touristy things with them, but mostly they just smushed on the baby.
October- There were some poop stories. Eliana got her first 2 teeth. She went to see an eye doctor about her eye wiggle. He didn’t know what it was. We’re still working on it (more to come on that later). She was a pumpkin for her first Halloween and had a nice time watching the trick-or-treaters.
November- NaBloPoMo. Eliana finally started to grab for toys. She also started rolling from back to belly. We had to switch to size 2 diapers. That made me sad. I stopped breastfeeding for good. That also made me sad. And relieved. It’s a weird thing. We had a hip scare, but it ended up being nothing. So yay. Thanksgiving was good. I finished my Christmas shopping. We started Eliana on rice cereal (kinda). It didn’t go well, so we only tried on Sundays. She also learned to sit up on her own. That was awesome. I don’t know if November was just a good month, or if my posting everyday allowed me to remember the good stuff.
December- Eliana went to see Santa. It was a crappy Santa, but a cute baby. I got really sick for the first time in 3 years. It was sucked. What was worse was that Eliana caught my cold. That sucked so much and I hated it. She had her first visit to the ER. We, thankfully, managed to survive her first bad cold. I hope I don’t have to worry another for a long time. Eliana learned to pull herself into the sitting position and standing when she holds on to my fingers. That’s a pretty neat trick. Sometimes. We celebrated her very first Christmas. She got a ton of toys and it was nice. She also stared on oatmeal. She loves it! Much better than that rice crap. We’ll be doing carrots before the year is over.
2007 has been the best year of my life so far. I can’t wait to see what 2008 has in store.
I hope your year was as wonderful as mine has been!
The breakdown of joint parenting
Tony is working on a 20 page research paper due on Sunday. He needed more, so we went to a bookstore. Eliana spent a good portion of the time in her car seat and by the time we were done, she was fussy. Thankfully, there was a coffee shop attached to the bookstore so we decided to have coffee and give her time out of her car seat. She stood on the table, sat up and played with her toys, and even got a little tummy time on her blanket on the table. Tony was supporting her while she was sitting while I finished my coffee. When I was done I stood up and started getting her car seat ready (moving toys, straightening straps, etc..).
Tony let her go. She smacked her head on the table and started to cry. No, I don’t know why he did that. From what he says he doesn’t know either. He said something about how it was time to go, so he was gonna get her seat ready. Nevermind the fact that I was already doing that. Forget about the fact that he was holding the baby. She’s fine. Cried for 2 seconds and that was it. I still can’t believe he let her go. Oh no! I just thought of something! What if she had fallen OFF the table?!? Ok, I was kinda sorta fine until that thought. Makes me shudder just thinking about it.
The loot
I think she liked the paper the best.
I guess presents aren’t so bad though.
Made out like a bandit!
Daddy got a present too!
Don’t forget the goodies!
(For real, I didn’t even take the plastic off. No, I didn’t not give my 5 month old candy. Yes, I am the grinch)
Yay presents! I swore I took a pic of all my stuff, but I think I lost it. I’ll try to get one later. Maybe. I’ll probably forget. Just trust me that I got a ton. More than I deserved, but all appreciated nonetheless.
Christmas recap
I feel kinda let down. I think maybe I built it up in my head for so long and nothing could really compare to the fantasy. I really just expected more from Eliana’s! First! Christmas! I hate that disappointed feeling.
Not that it was bad, really. Eliana had a great time ripping paper and inspecting toys. She absolutely LOVES her exersaucer from Santa. I love it too since now we have another activity to amuse her for 15 minutes. And I used the left over pieces to fashion a second playmat. Am resourceful. Go me. She got so many toys. I had to start using the the toy box for actual toys rather than crib sheets and blankets. I think I underestimated the power of grandparents and their need to spoil. That’s ok. She only gets one first Christmas and she got enough stuff to last a good long while.
After present opening came the battle to enforce a much needed nap. I think I mostly lost, but she did eventually end up sleeping. Then I had to start the 5 hours of cooking. Only 2 hours more than I thought it’d be. The food was great. I’m kinda lazy about cooking usually, but I can generally pull off a good holiday meal. And coming from a family of 6, I tend to overdue it. We had an 11lb ham, mashed potatoes, cornbread dressing (grandmother’s recipe), green bean casserole, and carmelized carrots. I made tiny little mini quiche (quiches?) and pigs in a blanket to hold us over for the real food and a homemade pecan pie (from scratch except the crust) for dessert. I had planned on making a sweet potato casserole and dinner rolls, but after 5 hours I stopped caring. And hell, it was just me and Tony. We have many left overs.
The only thing that really really pissed me off was that Tony immediately started playing with his xbox 360. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I couldn’t exactly take care of Eliana and cook all day by myself. Not to mention I never got to play with my stuff (yes, I realize I sound like a 3 year old.) And Tony never once asked if I needed any help. Every time Eliana got fussy he would get cranky and frustrated with her instead of just taking care of it. So of course I had to stop constantly to bitch at him about being nice to the baby and could he please just grow up! Gah!!! Boys suck. I keep explaining to him Christmas isn’t the same when you’re the grown up. You have responsibilities and crap. You can’t spend all day playing with your toys. I’m mostly disappointed that we didn’t spend much time together as a family. I was too busy trying to cook and Tony was too busy playing around. I feel like I missed out on the important stuff. It doesn’t make it easier that our families live no where near us and we didn’t get to see them. I’m used to big, loud, people-filled holidays. Even after all this time I don’t think I’m accustomed to just us.
If you ignore that part it was a good day. We got tons of stuff (pictures in another post). All in all, it was a success. I think. At any rate, it’s over and I’m recovering and hooray.
Hope Santa was good to you and your holiday was filled with family, fun, and alcohol!
Dear Santa
I believe I’ve been decent this year, and even though I have a potty mouth, I fully intend to work on that. All other improvements will have to wait until January. That’s what a New Year’s resolution is for. If you’re so inclined, feel free to take a gander at my list.
1. I want Eliana to grow up happy and healthy. You can do that…right?
2. World Peace
3. A new and slightly fancy camera (that may or may not be under the tree right now) (and by “may not” I mean “really is”)
4. Someone to cook dinner since I’m so getting lazy about that. Tony’s starting to fade away with hunger.
5. Someone to clean my house while we’re at it. Especially the bathrooms since I hate that part.
6. A big fancy TV (that may or may not be under the tree) (and by “may not” I mean “really really not”)
7. Tony to make it through his Master’s courses unscathed and only minimally stressed. This is not selfless. He whines when he’s stressed and cranky and I get headaches.
8. A cheese slicer like my grandmother used to have only dishwasherable (it is too a word!)
9. A bazillion dollars. I’ll even take a 50.
10. Automatic cat hair vacuum.
I understand if you can’t do all of these. Except you should. Especially #1. I’ll leave out some cookies and milk and carrots like always. If you’re feeling extra nice, feel free to rinse out the glass. Milk rings suck. Thanks a bunch!
And Merry Christmas to everyone!!! (Except if you’re not into Christmas, then Happy Holidays or Happy New Year or Woo Hoo!! Whatever makes you happy.)
5 months old
I’m late with it again. But eh. Since we took Eliana to the ER, they weighed her, so I have a 5 month weight. She weighs 14lbs 3 oz. Yes, I know she’s itty. That’s just the way she is. I have know idea about her length. I’ve been meaning to pick up one of those hanging measure-y things, but eh.
She got bigger. Yay!
This month has been filled with firsts. She sat up unassisted a couple of weeks ago and is just getting better and better at it, though she does have a tendency to fall forward once in a while. Yesterday, she pulled herself from a reclined position to sitting to standing while holding onto my fingers. I swear I didn’t help. She did it again a few times today. She hasn’t shown any interest in crawling or even getting up on her knees, but I’m sure it won’t be long before she has that part figured out too.
We have survived Eliana’s first cold. She’s still stuffy and coughing, but she feels much much better today. I’m surprised at how fast her cold got bad and even more surprised at how fast she got better. I don’t know if it’s that way for all babies or if we got very lucky. And I want to thank everyone for the well wishes and suggestions. They helped so much.
I’m looking forward to celebrating Eliana’s first Christmas next week. I know she won’t remember any of it, but I will. I look at this as a “practice year”. We’re just trying to figure out how we want to do things and what traditions we want to adopt. It makes me feel like we’re really a real family. I know we were before, and even before Eliana. But now it just feels all official. Our families are far away, so it’ll just be the three of us, and I’m fine with that.
Day 3, still icky
Last night was not as bad as it could have been, but still crappy. This morning was worse. After not eating her morning bottle, she was lying on the bed with us and her hands and feet turned blue. So (because I am a new mommy and it is required of new mommy’s) we went to the ER. Eliana’s first trip to the emergency room (awww).
The nurses and doctor think the reason they turned blue is because she is stuffy and was laying on her back so she wasn’t getting enough air. She’s fine. For the most part. The doctor asked if we had been “deep suctioning”. I said that I thought we were, but oh my I was so wrong. He stuck that thing so far up her nose I thought he was trying to suck out her brain. But he didn’t. He sucked out snot. A ton of snot. I was kinda shocked so much could fit in those itty nostrils.
But now we are educated parents! Parents who are quickly becoming proficient in the art of snot-sucking! And I hate every second of it. It is the saddest thing I have ever seen. She hates it so much and cries and screams at you. Tony says you have to be automatic about it. Remove yourself from the situation and once you’re done say “Oh no! Who made the baby cry? Aww, poor baby. I’ll make it better.” Apparently you’re supposed to pretend you weren’t the one who pissed off the infant. Right.
Thankfully it doesn’t take too long for her to get over it. Those rarer than usual smiles are all the sweeter. She still look pitiful though.
Can not wait for the first cold to be done and over with.
STFU
Someone please explain this to me. I was talking to my sister and I’d mentioned that Tony and I had thought of a girl name (if we ever have another girl) that we like. I told her what it was and she immediately said “No.”
Why do people do that? I wasn’t asking her opinion. I was mentioning it. That’s all. What really gets on my nerves is that she said it like it was the final answer. Because she wasn’t thrilled with it, that’s The End of the name. Apparently, it doesn’t matter what I think or what Tony thinks. The future name of my potential future child must be decided by someone not involved in the conception, birth, and raising of.
I do understand the stupidity of this whole thing. I’m not pregnant and I won’t be for a good long while (if ever) again. And I know that if/when I am pregnant Tony and I will get to decide what to call him/her. I get it. I know everyone has an opinion and most people don’t have a problem sharing it. So yeah, I don’t know why it bugs me more than usual right now.
Don’t mind me. I’m crazy.
On the Eliana front, we have our first, real, nasty cold. She has a terrible, break-your-heart, wet sounding cough and the snot may drown us all. It is gross. And I have no idea what to do. Baby’s don’t get it when you say “blow”. I was told to try a cool mist humidifier and something about saline. I’m not good with spraying liquid up her nose. Seems like there’s enough up there as it is. I’ll take suggestions to please fix the snotty, pitiful baby. Every time she coughs I want to cry.
